Tears
by Shingami-X
Summary: Soon after EW Heero is faced with the prospect of relena's feelings for him and must decide on the best actions. Which sometimes aren't the wisest [Based on Relena... Peom]
1. Default Chapter

Tears Disclaimer: If gundam wing was owned by me I wouldn't be writing this fic (  
  
AN: Based upon my Relena... poem I hope you like it and maybe now the poem will be easier to understand. Please review since this my first real fanfic. Also the 2nd half will be up maybe tomorrow so look out for that :p  
  
The light shone through the parted curtains and playfully dances across my face dragging me out of my beautiful dreams. I struggle to keep that last picture of relena fresh in my mind but it fades and all that is left is here soft golden glow that has been permently imprinted on my heart.  
  
"Relena..."  
  
It has been a year since I've saw her face, a year since she held me close and I gave up killing and a year since i ran away from Relena.  
  
:: Flashback :: -A day after the Mariemaia Khushrenada incident  
  
I was painfully awakened by the pain that was surging through my body but I showed no emotion. I hear voices echoing from outside of the room, I can hear the distinct tone of Relena and Sally's voices from outside the room.  
  
"Relena, you must let Heero rest. I know you want to stay with him but it's not doing either of you any good if you don't get some rest." said Sally sympathetically understanding how the woman cared for the young man lying on the table.  
  
"I know but..."  
  
"He's not going to go anywhere. So go get something to eat and get some sleep, you can come back tomorrow."  
  
"I guess your right, call me if anything happens." says Relena In an apologetic tone as she makes her way out of the building and into the waiting limo to be whisked back to her home.  
  
Hnn. Why did she care so much, why? All I am is a redundant soldier, a murderer. I was supposed to die so many times... but I didn't because of her. My head suddenly panged with incredible pain, jolting me out of my thoughts. I have to see Relena if only for one last time. I easily stride out of the hospital by blending in the masses of frantic nurses and relatives. Hnn. How to get there? I spot a pretty beaten down car in the alleyway and within seconds I have it hotwired and driving towards my location, Relena's house.  
  
The security is getting lax with this peace; he easily made it over the wall, through the garden and up the side of the house onto the balcony without even so much as a flicker from the guards.  
  
As I look through the French doors, I see the person in which I had been searching for hair spilling over the bed in waves of gold. She almost seemed like an angel lying their in her peaceful slumber oblivious to the man watching from the balcony. She's so pure, untainted, and innocent. Everything I'm not... and everything I would strip from her if i stayed. She is the thread that holds peace, the one that holds this peace on a fragile pedestal tipping back and forth and never knowing in which way it will fall. I made my decision in that instant which almost seemed like an eternity and burned that one last memory into my heart forever. I step to leap from the balcony and disappear from her life forever, but midstep I hear my name from the lips of the person who I thought I had left behind.  
  
"Heero!" Relena says as she scrambles to open the doors in an attempt stop Heero leaving.  
  
"Relena..." I turn to look into her sky blue eyes, shinning with the glistening tears which were ready to tumble down her face and meet the cold harsh ground. I reach to brush those tears away like I had done so many years ago. She smiles kindly back at me, just like before.  
  
"Are you leaving again Heero, without saying goodbye?" Relena says looking me straight in the face. I struggle to meet her eyes, to convey the message which a minute ago had been so clear in my mind.  
  
"I'm leaving." That's all I could muster to say with her intense glaze piercing my very soul.  
  
"Another Mission?" She asks curiosity in her eyes. I turn around to leave and turn to face her again at the edge of the balcony.  
  
"For good, Relena..." I quickly turn away and look to the ground in an attempt to ready my resolve. To make one step and she would forever be out of my life.  
  
"I love you Heero!" shouts Relena as she desperately hold out her hand to Heero, offering another path from his hell of a life. The words sunk in, he had always secretly known but to hear them was a whole different thing. I turn to look in her eyes shimmering with hope that they could be together. I start reaching for her hand, I feel the heat radiating from her as I move ever closer and then I remember. The girl and her dog... they deserved happiness... I don't. My hand falls to my sides and I turn to jump, I look round once more tears forming in her eyes.  
  
"I'm Sorry" I jump to the sold ground below and make my way to the shadows where I belong.  
  
Relena's tears slowly trickle down her face and fall like cascades of sparkiling diamonds as they meet there way down to the cold hard truth that is life, but there is no longer anyone to wipe away those tears. 


	2. Tears Part 2

Tears Part 2 Disclaimer: If gundam wing was owned by me I wouldn't be writing this fic :)  
  
AN: Sorry for the lateness hard to get any peace in this house :/ anyway this the 2nd part of Tears hope you enjoy and thanks to everyone who's been commenting.  
  
The silent chirping of the birds outside my window brings me back from my memories of the past and back into the now and present. I stretch to get the stiffness out of my body and rise to yet another day in my life, if you could call it that.  
  
I quickly have a shower and wipe the steam off the mirror in attempt to do my hair. All I am met with is my cold and shallow eyes which are nothing but pits of darkness reflecting no light. Hnn. When had I started caring about what my eyes had looked? I quickly return to what I was doing and get ready to leave for my job at the office. The perfect soldier working in an office, duo would never let it go if he found out. The though brought a smile to his face that had been missing for some time. Without a second though he was out the door and soon travelling to the office. He makes his way through the front doors and up the lift into the floor where he worked and was meet with a blond woman leaning into his face.  
  
"Hey honey, how are you today." said the blond lady as she was looking seductively into his face.  
  
"Hnn." I say as I walk past her without even acknowledging her presence. Her name was Helen and it was know by the whole office floor that she had somewhat of a crush on him, but that was know of his concern. Their was only one blond that he ever though about and as much as Helen wanted it, it wasn't her.  
  
"As quiet as ever I see." I soon reach my cubical with Helen trailing me all the way looking like a hungry dog following its master to the kitchen. It was by some divine miracle that she was called to the boss office, soon after.  
  
"Sorry, gotta rush." She says as she rushes to the huge oak door of the boss office. I get to work glad that the distraction has vanished and continue my work in silence, no one else being foolish enough to disturb me.  
  
Time soon fly's in and work is nearly over, my thoughts are interrupted by a clash of thunder and I look to windows to find them streaked with the lashes of rain beating against it. This sort of thing wouldn't happen on the colony's, one of reason he regretted staying on earth, but the colony's couldn't bring him peace like the earth could. The smell, the sun and all the life in all its forms brung him peace which the colony's could never offer.  
  
I grab my stuff and make my way outside into the pouring ran and rush towards my car. I quickly hop in and go to stop the car ...nothing. The hell! I quickly rush out and pop the bonnet of the car as well as getting my clothes soaked complety through. I quickly find out the problem is the timing belt which had broken, there was no way I was going to fix it without another one. It was going to cost a week's wages too, one problem with buying a classic gt40. That means I'm going to have to walk home in the bloody rain. Hnn.  
  
I start making my way home and halfway there I find a bunch of people gather around an electronic shop window all with umbrella's sheltering them from the pounding rain. I walk past without minding what they are all interested in. Probably some new reality program (cough) that all those women watch.  
  
"Relena...Shot...is unstable..." The words seemed to echo in my mind over and over and over not quite sinking in. Relena been shot... it just didn't seem real. My Knees buckle like some great weight had been thrown on my shoulders, I find my breath short. Sadness seeps into my heart and tears mixes with the rain with are both falling freely to the ground. Relena... I'm sorry. Dammit it's all my fault... if... if I hadn't left this wouldn't have happened.  
  
"Dammit!!" I shout in rage at my stupidity. People that's attentions were glued to the screens soon to turn to the man on his knees crying in the rain and within seconds he was up and running without so much as a word.  
  
The window the car caved in with ease and he easily had the car hotwired and driving away in the direction of the hospital. I didn't think I just felt... rage, love, sadness, worry all at once and I knew I had to see relena.  
  
I smash into to the garage wall not caring how I stopped and sprint for the emergency department. When I get close I can see a large group of people waving banners and laying flowers outside of the hospital and my heart sinks in my stomach, but it is lifted up by the messages they have on them, get better relena. There's still hope. I barge through the group and try to make my way into the hospital but I'm stopped by two police hospital.  
  
"Stop right there buddy. We can't let you in, if you're a relative of a patient here head in the other entrance and I'm sure the staff will see you there." One of the officers said without even blink I grab the officer's arm and flip him over me into the crowd of people and then turn to knock the other officer unconscious before he can reach for his gun. There were screams from the crowd as I rush into the hospital. I grab the nearest doctor and haul him up off the ground.  
  
"Which room is relena peacecraft in?" I say with fury raging in my eyes. I didn't feel like being nice I had to see relena.  
  
"Room 64A" says the doctor in fear of his life and kicking his feet to trying get down. I drop him on his arse and soon making my way to Relena's room. I round the corner to be meet by the faces of the gundam pilots and Zechs.  
  
"Heero, buddy wonder when you were gonna get here!" says duo striding up in his usual idiotic way and slamming me on the back. I had no time for this I had to see relena. I go to head for Relena's door again but I meet with Zechs standing in my way.  
  
"Where do you think your going?" Zechs said with an intense glare that could match mines at the moment.  
  
"Milliardo, I think that's a bit harsh he has as much right as us to be here." Chimed Quatra in the background looking on with sympathetic eyes.  
  
"Friends and relatives only remember and I think yuy gave those up when he broke her heart a year ago." His glaze not weakening one bit and anger still shinning in his eyes more than ever. Quatra lowers his head and doesn't make a peep.  
  
"What the hell do you want me to say? I'm sorry and that I was a bloody idiot for leaving her. Is that what you want to here you bastard?" I didn't care what Zechs though but all this rage came out at once. I soon find my head falling to look to the ground and my eyes starting to well up with tears for the second time this night.  
  
"I... you shouldn't be telling this to me." Zechs says as he moves away from the door which leads to relena. I make my way into the room without looking back and hear the door close quietly behind me.  
  
My eyes soon meet the face of the person, I wanted to forget and wish that I had never met. Life would be so much easier without her but it wouldn't be the same. I pull a chair close to the bed and slowly grip her hands with mine like I should of done last year and then this wouldn't have happened to her. I was an idiot.  
  
"I'm so sorry Relena." I look on and expect to hear her reply my name but I hear nothing from her lips. I get up from my seat and grab the doctor's report from the holder at the end of the bed. Gunshot wound to the right chest, no major organs or arteries have been damaged and only normal blood loss from shot wound. Recover should go well. She was going to be okay... sudden all the guilt had been lifted off my shoulders but the sadness still remained. I move to my position by her bed and slowly rap my hand around hers once again and slowly fall into a peacefully sleep by her side.  
  
I'm awakened by the sound of someone coffin. My eyes soon go wide as I realise it is Relena.  
  
"Relena!" I say in a dispirit attempt to wake her up.  
  
"Heero?" She says as she slowly opens and closes her eyes in attempt to adjust to the morning light. I'm suddenly lost for words looking in her eyes, forgetting how beautiful they were.  
  
"Heero, what are you doing here?" Looking at me confused and in disbelief.  
  
"I came to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you and I'm sorry I've cause you so much pain. God damn I'm sorry for everything." I say as a rush of emotion that surges through me and trying to get what has been pent in my heart every since I first meet eyes with her. She doesn't speak she just reaches out and holds my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.  
  
"Relena all those years ago I thought that if I was around you, that I would cause you more pain than it would be worth. I thought that my life would stain you because my past will always be with me and all those nightmares that come with it. I've come to realise that I need you more than anything you are the only reason that I'm alive to today and why I keep on living. Even when I tried to forget you tugged at my heart every moment of everyday and were always with me and for what it's worth relena. I love you."  
  
I look to the floor to hide the answer which was sure to be present in her eyes. She didn't speak, not one word. She cupped my chin and forced me to look into her eyes and said the words that I heard a year ago.  
  
"I love your too, Heero." She move close to me and we share our first sweet kiss, my body had no control of its on but in one instant I felt I was happy, I felt I was where I belonged. We end the kiss and I look into her eyes which are filling with tears and as one long tears slowly makes the way down here check I wipe them away as I would do for the rest of the my life because her tears were mine forever.  
  
10 days later the gunman was caught by the preventers, through out interrogation he would answer no one and nothing was found. Until an off the records visit was paid by preventer Heero Yuy. Soon after he gave a full list of people involved which included weapons manufacturers as well as high members of the government, all were sentence life in jail for treason and attempted murder as well as a few broken bones to one individual.  
  
AN: Finish my first full story fic so what do you think? Anyway again I'd like to thank all the people that commented and lets hope you guys liked it :) 


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